I just recently moved into an apartment with someone with whom we mutually thought that there was a possibility of a relationship, but then came to realize there is nothing.
Since we have been sharing a place, rather than camping, or a hostel, I have never experienced such hostility or unreasonable behaviour. To start, I have athlete's foot. It is on the nail, so the risk of contagion is less than on the lower surface of my foot. I am yelled at for not wearing socks or slippers. I know that it is not in my best interest to avoid an environment in which the fungus can grow, thus not wearing something over the toes. Being yelled at is never appropriate. In fact it feels like abuse. The challenge has been keeping my mouth shut. I have done the dishes left behind, I even invite the person to take part in the meal that I prepared.
Conversation has become functional: "Are you done with the washroom?" I try to avoid making more conversation than necessary, but I am also trying really hard not to respond or challenge the way that this individual chooses to behave.
Although I have brought in a number of my things in the place from my vehicle, much to this person's dislike, I wonder if I have made the situation worse. The housing crisis in the town does not make the situation any easier for either of us to find our own place, but I don't know how much longer I can deal with it.
Perhaps I should enjoy the distance, and space, but at the same time, it makes me wonder why somebody suddenly changes.
PART II
Although I thought that things would settle out over a short period of time, they didn't. I found myself in a bind : the person owed me money and had a set of my car keys. My strategy of survival consisted of being nice. It was difficult to deal with the door slamming, questions or comments without responses, or even biting my tongue and doing dishes or things were left untidy.
Last Sunday I was asked if my car could be taken to view another one that this individual wanted to buy. Given I am the only insured driver, I would have to drive, but accepted even though I had other things to do. Agreeing that we leave after breakfast, the person closes onself in the bedroom, and when announce that I am ready to go, something is yelled with the door closed. Being patient, I oil my bicycle outside, come back in, wait a couple minutes more and still have no sign that this individual is getting ready to go.
I left and came back late. I was then told that my car could not be started ( the problem occurred on the same day that I felt that little respect was given my way - the person bought a bicycle, but did not make any effort to let me know that I could go home and not wait. Instead I was yelled at for not bringing a piece of bread in my backpack when going to a place to check out a solution to my vehicle's ignition.) The next morning, I was asked if I normally leave when I say that am willing to go. I responded that I understood that the person ( I am tempted to use another word, but the tone of the entry would be off ) was finishing an e-mail and I can just go. Again nice, for no reason of my own, driving down into town to be compliant with other unreasonable demands because biking up is too hard(one excuse, but I will not take the experience as an attack to my person), I asked finally for the money that was owed to me. I was told that it is at the apartment, and I'll receive it so there is no need to stop at a bank.
Upon our return, a dash in and out of the bedroom and the the person placed money was placed on the table after asking how much was the night of camping. It was only the part for the trip, and I'll be paid the rent at the end of the rent period. "It doesn't really work that way" was my thought, but I let it go. Coming to count the money, I asked again, as two 50$ notes were stuck together, then I apologized as it wasn't clear what the amount was.
Later on in the week, being nice once again for survival, I accepted to drive the person into town early in the morning (7am) and pick up at midnight. I was not advised that it the cash would be closed, and ended up waiting 45 minutes. No apologies, saying that should have let you know...
All in all, my savior was buying the newspaper. This person took the paper, without asking, probably still upset that I called too late to ask my car insurance company to have a name added ( still being compliant to avoid confrontation - which now I think would have been proper ). I was handed a per day amount for the rent period. Again a stack. I said one should count the money being handed over so there is no confusion, "Only with you have I ever seen such a problem with money". I am glad the aggressiveness, tension and untidiness is gone.
PART II
Although I thought that things would settle out over a short period of time, they didn't. I found myself in a bind : the person owed me money and had a set of my car keys. My strategy of survival consisted of being nice. It was difficult to deal with the door slamming, questions or comments without responses, or even biting my tongue and doing dishes or things were left untidy.
Last Sunday I was asked if my car could be taken to view another one that this individual wanted to buy. Given I am the only insured driver, I would have to drive, but accepted even though I had other things to do. Agreeing that we leave after breakfast, the person closes onself in the bedroom, and when announce that I am ready to go, something is yelled with the door closed. Being patient, I oil my bicycle outside, come back in, wait a couple minutes more and still have no sign that this individual is getting ready to go.
I left and came back late. I was then told that my car could not be started ( the problem occurred on the same day that I felt that little respect was given my way - the person bought a bicycle, but did not make any effort to let me know that I could go home and not wait. Instead I was yelled at for not bringing a piece of bread in my backpack when going to a place to check out a solution to my vehicle's ignition.) The next morning, I was asked if I normally leave when I say that am willing to go. I responded that I understood that the person ( I am tempted to use another word, but the tone of the entry would be off ) was finishing an e-mail and I can just go. Again nice, for no reason of my own, driving down into town to be compliant with other unreasonable demands because biking up is too hard(one excuse, but I will not take the experience as an attack to my person), I asked finally for the money that was owed to me. I was told that it is at the apartment, and I'll receive it so there is no need to stop at a bank.
Upon our return, a dash in and out of the bedroom and the the person placed money was placed on the table after asking how much was the night of camping. It was only the part for the trip, and I'll be paid the rent at the end of the rent period. "It doesn't really work that way" was my thought, but I let it go. Coming to count the money, I asked again, as two 50$ notes were stuck together, then I apologized as it wasn't clear what the amount was.
Later on in the week, being nice once again for survival, I accepted to drive the person into town early in the morning (7am) and pick up at midnight. I was not advised that it the cash would be closed, and ended up waiting 45 minutes. No apologies, saying that should have let you know...
All in all, my savior was buying the newspaper. This person took the paper, without asking, probably still upset that I called too late to ask my car insurance company to have a name added ( still being compliant to avoid confrontation - which now I think would have been proper ). I was handed a per day amount for the rent period. Again a stack. I said one should count the money being handed over so there is no confusion, "Only with you have I ever seen such a problem with money". I am glad the aggressiveness, tension and untidiness is gone.
If I were to make one conclusion, it would be that of one of my good friend's : You have to be a little more selfish. After living with someone who I cannot think of anything else but selfish, it does not seem like a good thing, but maybe I wouldn't be so insulted.
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